Minnesota Twins Baseball

(from a letter that I recently wrote and slid under the door of Target Field)

Dear Minnesota Twins, let me start off by saying that I'm a big fan. When I get older I want to be a baseball team just like you. Now down to business...

I know you're not paying me for my advice on player personnel (not yet at least), but PLEASE bring Joseph A. Crede back! Don't waste money on Adrian "Shit-Face" Beltre (I don't like him so I made up a mean middle name for him) or Pedro "[insert insult here]" Feliz. Please save money and get that Crede back. He apparently feels really good after his last surgery (according to his agent, but still playing on grass will help) AND I just read this little article today! Unless Corey Koskie has recovered from his concussion, you've gotta sign Crede.

Sincerely, Future Vice President of Minnesota Twins Player Personnel (obviously not true, but I'd gladly be an intern or something)

P.S. Have you thought of have a state-wide bake sale with all the proceeds going to Joe Mauer's contract extension?