jawbreaker

finished my giant jawbreaker today. it looked like this when I started, but now it's in my stomach.

it took two weeks of casual licking for me to put that beast down, and now my tongue is totally raw. it feels like i just licked concrete for two straight weeks.

toothpaste

my shoe is covered in the shit.

I just challenged my roommate to a toothpaste shooting contest where we laid the tube on the ground out side, jumped on it, and saw which won could shoot it the farthest.

I didn't win the distant contest, but I did win the "shoe most covered in toothpaste" award.

MY SHOE WAS F-ING PLASTERED WITH THE SHIT!!!

Fun game though. Def gonna practice that some more so I don't embarrass myself at the next contest.

Sufjan Stevens Christmas

So I'm pretty sure this cd came out last year or the year before, but Sufjan's 8th "Songs for Christmas" album is amazing.

Stevens gives an electronic, blippy (new adjective meaning 'containing blips') version of old Christmas classics like "Angels We Have Heard On High", "Do You See What I See", and "Good King Wenceslas" among others.

I usually hate Christmas music, just because I get sick of it so quickly, but this cd makes these old songs interesting again.

So get this cd, put your feet up, and take a figurative bath in these songs.

It's Almost Christmas Time...

...that means its time for KARAOKE!

Songs I want to sing for karaoke:
My Humps by Black Eyed Peas
Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani
Don't Cha by Pussycat Dolls
Photograph by Nickelback

I Just Walked a Mile in a Blizzard

I walked from Dordt College to the middle of a gravel road where 25-40 mph winds which blew snow so violently that my friend, who was no more than 40 feet away from me, half disappeared. I could only see from his waist up, no feet. It was awesome. My right heel is very cold.

SSLYBY

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin. That's what I'm listening to since it's snowing.

The snow is light, fluffy, and everywhere right now, which means it's time to listen to my favorite snow music (which in many cases is also my favorite summer music, weird huh?)

The next few days of snow will lead me to listen to:

Radiohead - In Rainbows
Bon Iver- For Emma, Forever Ago
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - Broom
Beach House - Teen Dream (this one's new, but great)

MLB Winter Meetings

Winter meetings start today and final arbitration deals come off the table tonight at midnight.

SO, we'll soon find out if the Twins can keep Carl Pavano or if they can get a 3B that can hit better than Nick Punto (I am available, Bill Smith).

I just heard on Baseball Tonight's Hot Stove Special that Beltre was NOT being pursued by the Twins (thankfully) but Pedro Feliz WAS.

We'll have to see what happens in the next few days of these meetings. I really hope the Twins come out of there with some sort of veteran starting pitcher. Whether Pavano accepts arbitration or they sign someone like Washburn, I can live with that.

Also I Eric Milton is a free agent. Think about it Twins (not really), but don't forget that he had 41 wins for the Twins in the three years from 2000-02. Just sayin'.

There's Monday Night Football On TONIGHT!

I thought I just let all my faithful readers know that since today is Monday and it's during the football regular season, there will be a football game played tonight on ESPN. It's called Monday Night Football since it is football played on Monday night. I'm going to probably watch it.

The Onion: New Anti-Smoking Ads

New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke'
Hillarious

TOM VEK!!! WHERE ARE YOU?

Four and a half years ago Tom Vernon-Kell realeased the cd "We Have Sound" under the name Tom Vek.

(Right: Tom Vek's hand signal "TV")

I was a Junior in high school when it came out and I vividly recall seeing Tom's music video for the first single "C-C (You Set the Fire in Me)" on the late great International Music Feed. I bought the disc the very next time I entered a Best Buy, and soon I was grooving along to Tom's eclectic tunes.

After a few months, Tom Vek showed up less and less on my iPod. But now, almost half a decade later, I decided to take a trip back to high school by play We Have Sound. I quickly search his name into my Google task bar search box, ready to find out the name(s) his newest cd(s).

Unfortunately--after visiting his Wikipedia page, official website, and myspace page--I found that he hasn't recorded any new music since 2005. His website says, I assume as a joke, "Tom continues to work on the follow up to 2005 debut 'We Have Sound'" If this is true, then this cd will be the most baller shit ever!

So Tom Vek, if you read this, please make new music. You're awesome. (also, if you read this, you'll be the first person to read my blog!)

Holy Crap! Figgins might go to the Mariners!

Just read this article. I would love this sooooo much!

Just picturing Ichiro and Figgins at the top of that lineup makes me smile. Add that with Lopez becoming a stud run producer, and suddenly this lineup that finished 28th in runs scored last year could actually out score some teams.

Pair lineup that with King Felix and maybe a decent free agent pitcher to will replace Bedard. And maybe Luke French or Ian Snell can be decent for a while. Then before you know it, the M's could be in the wild card hunt by next September.

Even though I'm not a Seattle fan, I would love to see them in the post-season again. And even though getting Figgins probably wouldn't put them in the playoffs this year, but it would definitely be a step in a winning direction, which is awesome.

Minnesota Twins Baseball

(from a letter that I recently wrote and slid under the door of Target Field)

Dear Minnesota Twins, let me start off by saying that I'm a big fan. When I get older I want to be a baseball team just like you. Now down to business...

I know you're not paying me for my advice on player personnel (not yet at least), but PLEASE bring Joseph A. Crede back! Don't waste money on Adrian "Shit-Face" Beltre (I don't like him so I made up a mean middle name for him) or Pedro "[insert insult here]" Feliz. Please save money and get that Crede back. He apparently feels really good after his last surgery (according to his agent, but still playing on grass will help) AND I just read this little article today! Unless Corey Koskie has recovered from his concussion, you've gotta sign Crede.

Sincerely, Future Vice President of Minnesota Twins Player Personnel (obviously not true, but I'd gladly be an intern or something)

P.S. Have you thought of have a state-wide bake sale with all the proceeds going to Joe Mauer's contract extension?

I'm blogging...

...because I believe that the Internet can read everything that is posted on it, and I have a lot of stuff I want to tell the Internet.